Ah, yes... the Thanksgiving favorite. This isn't so much a recipe as an article and ramblings about my experiences frying turkeys. I'm a staunch proponent of safety when deep frying, and too many people don't take the art of turkey frying seriously enough. You've got to be careful and I cringe at people who fry turkeys in their garages simply because they've gotten away with it before.

Once that vat of oil ignites, nothing is going to stop it. Just get away and call the fire department, because it's like a freaking shuttle lifting off. You'd have better luck pissing out an apartment fire.

Here are some things to consider and keep an eye on when deep frying your yard bird.

Make sure you've removed all packets of giblets and what-not from the inside. I've accidentally cooked a bag with the neck in it because it was inconspicuously crammed into the upper cavity of the bird. Check and double check to make sure you've extruded all the goodies.

Make sure your bird is thawed and dry. Oil and water don't mix and results in heavy splashing which can ignite and ruin your tailgate. Thaw it two days in advance and use paper towels on the inside and out to insure it's as dry as you can make it.

I don't inject my birds with any marinates, but many people do.

Here's a list of great injections.

When frying at your tailgate, or anywhere, for that matter, educate everyone involved on the dangers of turkey frying and what to do if that sucker goes up. Two words... "Get away." Don't try and be a hero, don't try to turn off the propane, don't throw anything on it, just get the hell away from it. Set your fryer up in a non-trafficked area away from people and vehicles if you can. I barricade mine off with saw horses and noone is allowed near it except me or my highly trained assistants who are aware of what's at stake.

Make sure it's on solid ground and upright. The forces generated by the roiling oil on a 12 lb bird can send the pot rocking, and if the burner isn't stable, it can rock itself over.

Oil expands and contracts with the temperature. Be careful on those cold Thanksgiving Day mornings! I almost set my pot ablaze when I failed to compensate for oil shrinkage due to the cold. I filled my pot to the correct level indicated for the size of my turkey, but the oil had contracted a little bit due to the temperature. It wasn't coagulated, but it was contracted.

I brought the oil to 390 degrees and began slowly lowering the turkey into the oil, when I realized there was too much oil! Once heated, the oil expanded, and I had added too much to the pot. It began bubbling over the top. This is the moment that most set their rig on fire. Luckily, I realized what was going on, pulled the half submerged bird from the oil, and turned the flame off.

With the flame turned off, I lowered the turkey into the oil and waited for the splashing to stop before relighting the burner, making oil temperature regulation that much more of a challenge.

After that important life lesson, I now turn my flame down to a flicker, or completely off, before lowering the turkey. There's no need to risk setting off a jet engine in the parking lot. Be safe. Be careful. It'll cook even if you have to relight the burner.

Ideally, you want to cook your bird at a constant 350 degrees, which can be a challenge in colder weather. With a twelve pound turkey, you can virtually guarantee an immediate drop of at least 50 degrees when you first lower the bird, so I heat my oil to about 400 degrees before I start cooking.

At an oil temp of 350 degrees, expect to cook your bird for approx. 3-3.5 minutes per lb., but like I said, temperature regulation can be very tricky, especially when cooking with an outside temp of 20 degrees in a stiff wind. You'll be lucky to get your oil over 300 degrees in such a situation.

The only way guarantee your bird is cooked, is to rely on your handy meat thermometer. I'll raise my turkey from the oil after about a half hour and check the temperature of the breast meat. Once the breast meat has reached 170-175 degrees, I'll pull it out of the oil and let it cool for about 10 minutes. When the turkey is removed from the oil, the inside temp actually jumps almost a full 10 degrees. Poultry is safe to eat when it has been cooked to 180 degrees.

The "cook it till it floats" technique actually works with turkeys, too, but many times you can't tell whether the turkey is floating because of the skewer.

Because of the dangers involved during this particular procedure, I stay quite sober when cooking turkeys and monitor it constantly. If your oil begins smoking, it's breaking down and beginning to reach it's flash point. Reduce heat. Smoking oil hints at dangers to come if you don't cool it down.

Here's a great site discussing different oils and their properties: missvickie.com

I've used different types of oils, and while peanut oil tends to be the favorite amongst turkey fryers, I've found that noone has ever complained about a turkey cooked in canola oil. It's cheaper and still results in a fine moist turkey. If you have finicky taste buds, peanut oil does produce the best tasting, crisp and crunchy skin.